We really work hard to bring up good kids; the ones who are not greedy, whiny, stubborn etc. thus it leaves us discouraged when we see our 5-year-old not wanting to share his goodies or toys with his friends or when he’s screaming for ‘a new toy’ almost after you bought him one.
We want our kids to fit in, and be nice, but if we are constantly nagging on about their stubborn streak, they will learn there’s something wrong with them. That’s why it’s so important to accept your child for who he is. Don’t try to beat his individuality out of him, because that is not what you want.
It is true that kids who know how to throw their weight around depict leadership, but there is a fine line between being a leader and being dictatorial.
To Overcome Your Child’s Bossy Behaviour:
1. Listen to him
At times intelligent listening helps a lot. Kids are most likely to try throwing their weight around if they feel powerless. Most of the times we tend to forget that children — especially obstinate ones — can have strong inclinations.
2. Instill trust
Make your child feel he is trusted. If you make him feel you don’t trust him enough, and that he is stubborn and incorrigible that is what he will believe he is, and will become what you believe he is. Not vice versa.
3. The reciprocal approach
Teaching your child to always be “good” may trigger a rebellious streak and reinforce the message that constantly putting yourself second is the best way to go through life which is a terrible way to survive. Instead, kids need to understand that they may have to give up something they want to get something else they want — and that being demanding can have consequences they won’t like. If your child refuses to share his toys, for instance, point out that if he doesn’t, his friend won’t want to share his toys, either. But if they take turns playing with each toy, they’ll both get to play with everything.
4. Be a Role Model
Perhaps your child is not the only difficult one in the family, he could be taking his cue from you.
Sometimes we are sparring over inconsequential things. Try to restrain your stubborn tendencies, not just in your dealings with your child, but also with other adults. For instance, talking through disputes and reaching reasonable solutions that suit both individuals — shows your child that adults have to sacrifice, too. And if your child follows your lead, it’ll be worth it.
5. Nip in the Bud
Each instance of ungratefulness and rude behaviour needs to be addressed and brought to your child’s attention. You don’t have to stoop to shouting and screaming, just make sure you point out what could have been said in a better way.
6. Be Happy
Cheer your child up! (Before that cheer yourself up, be happy, try to be happy, find cause for humor etc.).
Giving your child whatever he wants doesn’t mean love. Often children ask for material things because they do not feel loved enough by parents. By yielding to him you increase his dignity. But substituting “things” for love instead is a kind of “pay off” for not being able to feel his soul. So gain your child’s trust, talk to him, and listen to him when he is upset. Tell him you are upset too. Ask for forgiveness and teach him about moving on.