Things Desi parents say can leave you scratching your head in confusion, shaking your head because they are just so lame or just laughing out loud because they are just so cutely predictable. These sayings have been passed down from generation to generation, and there might as well be a day when we find ourselves as parents repeating the same things, and then shaking our heads. Here are a few classic examples:
Back in my day
Ah yes, the classic saying that sends any millennial into a fine fit of resentment. Everything was better back in their day, and now we are doomed to grow up in a godless time with a crumbling economy and increasing societal pressure. And yes, to them that is entirely our fault.
Who are you texting? This phone is ruining your life!
Oh, the classic cellphone jibe. Because it is only because of our phones we don’t concentrate in school, at work or during social events. Yet they are the first ones to come up to us and say “Beta, how do I send this text to chachi, chachu and phuppi?” whenever they need help. Which is often.
Sure! You can do *insert fun activity* anytime…with your husband. When you’re married
This sentence is the bane of any Pakistani girl’s existence. Want to go on a trip with your friends? Go with your husband when you’re married. Want to wear a cute dress to a party? Wear it with your husband when you’re married. Want your own room with complete privacy? Get it…with your husband…when you’re married.
If Dolly’s Sister’s Daughter can do it, so can you!
A desi parent’s ability to draw constant comparisons between people who are complete polar opposites of each other is admirable. You should have pursued a career in medicine like Dolly’s sister’s daughter. Even if your degree is in liberal arts.
Of Course you can borrow money. We’re not parents, just ATM machines!
The very unsubtly disguised sarcastic clapback every desi parent delivers when asked for money.
Have a Panadol
Panadol- the desi parent miracle pill meant to cure everything from a migraine to appendicitis.
Make sure you get home before dark
Why? Because when after nightfall we will be devoured by soul-sucking vampires that are allergic to the sun? Desi parent logic, without fail.
Because he’s a boy!
The reply girls get when asked why they aren’t allowed to do the same activities as their brothers. Inherent sexism, we just have to live and deal.
If Ali jumps off a cliff, does that mean you do will do it too?
The classic response to “all my friends are doing it”, if you decide to use that point in any argument to win your parents over. Desi parents =1, you= 0. Always.
The list can go on and on, since all desi parents are full of hilarious hyperboles and sayings but you get the gist. But one thing is undeniable, no other kind of parents in the world will love you and defend you as ferociously as a desi parent will and you adore them for that (even if they privately hurl slippers at you afterwards).